Church Planter's Wife Confessions - Eat Pray {Read} Love

If you are visiting from At the Picket Fence or Kelly’s Korner today, thanks so much for stopping by. Here’s a little about me:
My husband and I planted our church 3 1/2 years ago in Houston.I have been a minister’s wife our entire marriage- ten years. Ben was in youth ministry the first seven years we were married.

Ben and I at a wedding
When we were starting down the path from youth ministry into the pastorate, we were “warned” by many people (mostly other pastors) that it would be different- people would view us differently and we would have a hard time making friends. Sort of the “it’s lonely at the top” mentality.
Me, at 28-years-old and somewhat naive, was sure “they” were wrong- I was different and we would make plenty of friends quickly.
Well, they were right. The first year was so hard. I was moving away from my hometown, from a church I loved, from friends I loved (oh, and 90% of my extended family lives in our hometown), away from our home across the street from my parents, into a new (huge!) city. About a year after moving, I also had some (relatively minor) health issues that made my hormones go crazy. Not a good combination!
I have never been so lonely in my life, despite the fact we were constantly surrounded by people. Just writing this makes me cry, remembering how hard it was.
It wasn’t that people weren’t friendly- because they were. Our church is filled with amazing people. I am pretty sure a lot of the problem was me. I wasn’t incredibly “real” at the time, if you know what I mean. Trying to keep up the facade that I was okay, even though every.single.thing about my life had changed overnight.
In the last few years, God has given me some incredible friendships with women inside the church, and deepened relationships I already had. These women constantly encourage me, strengthen me, and hold me accountable. They definitely go at the top of my “blessings” list.
If I could give one piece of advice to young women entering the ministry with their husbands, it would be to “be real”. That is how lasting relationships are built. Remember that people will view you a little differently. And that’s okay. We are different! I have read on other women’s blogs that they dread telling others what their husband does for a living because they know that inevitably, most conversations will either turn really weird really quickly, or end really quickly.
But God does a have a few true friends for you. Pray hard, have your husband pray hard, get other people to pray hard. At the time things were so lonely for me, my husband had at least two other people praying for God to send me friends as well.

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Church Planter’s Wife Confessions

I’m Kelli

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