A story of obedience, and unfortunately, a story of disobedience
There have been times in my life that I have clearly felt God speak to me to do something, and I obeyed. The peace and freedom that come by doing that are truly indescribable.
My son was born with a liver disease, and we spent lots of time his first 15 months in the hospital. Because our stays were almost always longer than a week, we usually had to do laundry in the hospital. One day, I was coming back to our room after completing a load. I pressed the “12” button, where my small son and husband awaited me in the hospital room.
However, the elevator kept going down, down, passing 12 on its way. I ended up on floor 3. This floor contains the gift shops, as well as the food court. I decided I might as well take a look in the gift shop while I was there. However, I glanced over to the surgery waiting area, which is also on this floor. I know that area well; we spent 9 hours (which felt like 3 years) there when my son was only 7 weeks old.
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| Landon shortly before his surgery |
There was one lone lady sitting in that area, which is uncommon for such a large children’s hospital. She was crying. I felt God saying, “Go. Talk to her.” I then knew why my elevator had missed the floor I selected. Pretty sure the woman would think I was crazy, I headed over.
She was from a different country, and at first it seemed as though I would not be able to communicate with her. But then I told her that I, too had been in her position only a year before and asked if I could pray with her. She cried even more and said yes, and she and I, women from an uncommon land but with a very common love for our children, shared our hearts with the Lord.
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She smiled as I left and I, I felt as though I was floating on air the rest of the day. I couldn’t wait to share with my husband what had happened. I didn’t do much at all, but to know God was able to use me was incredible.
But. I wish I could say that every time God spoke to me I was obedient. This sadly is not the case.
When we still lived in our small hometown, there was a man who worked at a pizza place. I knew who he was because I used to work at the bank and would see him there, and because, well, it was a small town. One night, my family was shopping for groceries and ran into this man.
My children were very small at the time, and he went on and on how cute they were, and the kids were smiling at him and interacting with him. I felt God saying, “Invite him to dinner. He’s lonely.”
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Well, we were busy. I had two children under the age of two, was working part time, my husband was the youth minister at our church and I just felt I couldn’t do anything else. Plus, even though I knew who he was, I didn’t know much about him. Fear of the unknown, and fear of giving up some of my time, kept me from obedience. So I pushed the thought to the back of my mind, telling myself that when we saw him again (it was bound to happen!), I would invite him then.
There wasn’t a next time. I can’t remember the exact details, but very shortly after this man took his own life. The devastation I felt for this man was real, and I was heartbroken that I had disobeyed God.
I still think of this man from time to time, the loneliness he must have felt, that no one cared. I don’t know all of his circumstances, but I do know that I disobeyed God because of fear. Now, each time God tells me to do something, this instance serves as a reminder that his way is always best, even if I am fearful, busy, tired, don’t really know what I’m doing, it doesn’t make sense, I don’t have the money, or the myriad of other excuses my mind can conjure up.
Ladies, next time God asks you to do something and you are filled with fear, remember this:
About Kelli Hays
