When couple first takes their vows on their beautiful wedding day, most likely they are not thinking that the “for worse” portion may come to pass. However, it is highly likely that most of us will have to weather a storm- whether it be the loss of a job, parent, home, or a number of other trials- at some time in our marriages.

When our first child was born- at a seemingly healthy 10 pounds, 10 ounces- we had no idea God would send us on a wild ride, including a stay in the NICU, a surgery on our seven-week-old son, and eventually, a move to a new city to start a brand new church!

 The morning after Landon’s birth, our pediatrician came in to tell us that some of his blood work came back abnormal. By that afternoon, the ambulance crew from another city was there to take my baby. I will never forget the horror of that day as we decided if Ben should go with the baby, or stay with me the additional night I needed to recover from my C-section. I immediately felt closer to Ben than I ever had before, and it was precisely at that moment he had to leave.
My dad went with him and my mom stayed with me. The next few weeks were a whirlwind of doctors visits (in a city three hours away), lab draws, culminating in a surgery.  Add on top of that the no sleeping that comes with a newborn, and it easily could have put a huge strain on our marriage. It is still a painful time to think about, but God really used all of those hours to fuse mine and Ben’s hearts even more tightly together.

If you and your spouse find yourself in a storm, here are three suggestions to help you come out with an even stronger marriage:

1.) Do not blame each other.
It is certainly true that there are situations where one spouse is truly at fault {affairs, racking up major credit card bills to the detriment of your credit, etc.} but I’m speaking about the things that come about in life naturally. If your spouse loses his job due to company cutbacks, be very intentional to be encouraging to him. His ego is probably already punctured and deflated- he doesn’t need for his wife to add to the injury.

2.) Together, allow God to be your comforter.
 If you are going through something truly difficult, you obviously will lean on each other, but there will most likely come a moment when you are both so weak that you just can’t be the rock for one another.
Ben was so strong through the whole ordeal, until the day of Landon’s surgery. I will never forget when the surgeon came out to talk to us, Ben slid to the floor and sobbed. I was almost in a daze- seeing my strong man like that. I knew at that point that although Ben served as an awesome protector for our family, he simply couldn’t protect us from everything- we would have to look to God for that role.

3.) Allow other people to help as well.
I honestly don’t think any of us are meant to live isolated lives. In the book of Acts in the early church, we see church members readily helping one another.The help of others was amazing during our time of need. They brought food, they cried with us, they helped us financially, they just in general loved on us in an amazing way. I don’t know how anybody goes through a crisis without the love of family and a church family.

Dear sister, if you and your husband (or you alone, if you’re single) are going through a rough spot- reach out! If you don’t have a church home, I gently urge you to find one. If you find the right “home,” the people can help nurture you through whatever it is.

I truly hope that it is smooth sailing in your family right now. But the reality is, some of you reading this are probably at a time in your lives where you wonder how your marriage will ever endure the trials you are having right now. But with lots of prayer, your marriage can survive, and even become better through it!