old {and young} wives’ tales: encouraging others in marriage: Part One!

Welcome my lovely readers! I am so excited about this new series: “old {and young} wives’ tales- learning from one another.” Today I am so blessed to have Amanda from Royal Daughter Designs sharing great wisdom for you single ladies as well as the married ones. I hope you’ll take her advice to heart. And if you’re a married lady (or man!) who would like to share in this series, please e-mail me benandkelli01@aol.com and we’ll talk!


I have to admit, it is a little intimidating to try to write about having a godly, successful marriage. I’m truly honored that Kelli asked me to be here today, but the truth is this: after days and days of thinking about it, I feel like the best advice that I can give is this:

The fact that I am married to a man who diligently strives for godliness really adds to the “success” of our marriage.

I have ruminated on this post for several days, and one thing keeps dancing in my mind: What defines a “successful” marriage anyway?

Last week my husband, David, and I went on a date – a rare occurrence these days! You see, in September we became first time “parents” to three foster boys, ages 10, 11, and 15. We learned pretty quickly that date night is a luxury when you have kids!

While we were driving to the restaurant, I asked David what his definition of a successful marriage is.

He responded, “selfless love that perseveres.” I asked him to elaborate, and he explained, “a successful marriage is one where two people persevere in their self-sacrificing and mutually submissive love for one another.” That sounds like an answer from a theology professor, doesn’t it?

David and me in May, 2010

The only thing that I would add to David’s definition is that the ultimate purpose of a successful marriage is to bring glory to God. In the end, it’s not about the romance, the shared assets, and peacefully passing away in each others arms (yeah, I’m a sucker for the Notebook). It’s about glorifying Christ through my life and through our marriage.

David and I have been married for six and a half years. Last week was the first time that we defined what a successful marriage means to us.

David and me at our wedding in 2005.

Let me encourage you take some time with your husband or wife and discuss what a successful marriage means to each of you. If we never define what “success” in marriage is, how will we know what we’re striving and praying for?

Thanks for having me today, Kelli. I am thankful for the oportunity to reflect on my own marriage, and to begin praying for what we hope our marriage will be. Thank you, Kelli, for your committment to encouraging and strengthening godly marriages.

About Amanda:
Amanda marks “happily” when asked to denote her marital status. She is currently pursuing a Masters of Arts in Church Ministries in order to prepare herself for full time ministry to seminary student wives. She and her husband, David, are foster parents to three boys, and are learning first hand what it means to follow the Lord in unrehearsed obedience. She blogs about her faith, and the misadventures of raising three rowdy boys at DAES of Our Lives. Additionally, she is owner and designer of Royal Daughter Designs.

Thanks again Amanda! I am so blessed to have you as a bloggy friend!

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