the encouragement project: week 5- those who have lost a child

Today’s topic really, really weighs heavily on my heart. As you may know, October15th  is National Infant Loss Awareness Day. I have not personally experienced either, and I do not pretend to know the devastation that comes from losing a child.

For some reason, however, God has placed the women who have lost a child on my heart. We were with some close friends the night they lost their baby, and since then, I have had so much compassion for the parents who lose their children.

That night, six years ago, I know God placed us there to be with them. We were driving to the hospital to be them while their baby received her liver transplant. However, a few hours before going to the operating room, she began experiencing seizures that did damage to her brain. We were with our friends shortly after they lovingly chose to let their five-month old daughter go. She was so, so sick and the machines were keeping her alive at this point, and I remember thinking, “That could be my son there.”

And it really could have been- our son has the same liver disease that claimed the life of their sweet child. He was also one week to the day younger than her, and they had their surgeries about one week apart. We met them in the hospital when both of our babes were recovering from surgery. They should have grown up together, but that wasn’t what happened. I also remember feeling immense guilt- that it was their child instead of ours. A vicarious survivor guilt, I suppose.

So many things stick out about that night: “That’s So Ravyn” was on in the waiting room. I don’t know why I remember that, but I do. The nurse lovingly cleaning the baby and dressing her in a white gown. Each parent taking a turn rocking the sweet baby in the rocking chair one last time. The worst thing, the parents walking away from the room, dad carrying the shouldn’t-have-been empty carseat. These memories are seared in my mind like they were yesterday.

And this wasn’t even my child. The deep well of grief that I felt was nothing compared to her parents’ grief. Ladies, if you have lost a child either in miscarriage, still birth, or at any time, please know that I pray for you often. And if there is anything specific I can pray about, please feel free to e-mail me.

If you know someone who has experienced this tragedy, please take this month as an opportunity to encourage them. Even if it has been years.

Let them know you haven’t forgotten about their child- I am sure as time goes by, people tend not to bring the death into the conversation as often.

Send them flowers on the anniversary of the child’s passing.

Write them a note letting them know what their child meant to you, if you knew him or her.

Or,  you could purchase Gideon Bibles in the child’s name. A massage would also be nice.

Anything you can do to minister to them as a loving gesture- to let them know that you know their child’s life-however brief- counted.

Let’s all agree to lift these ladies up in prayer. Their road is a hard, hard one and they need our love.

Thank you so much for subscribing!