Ahhh, the end of the school year. Everyone’s looking forward to summer and days of no school. And for those that are graduating high school, everyone’s asking them, “Where are you going to college?” I’ve started to ask another question, instead, “What are you doing after you graduate?” I’ve been doing some thinking lately and I (think) I’ve decided- I’m okay if my kids don’t go to college. Gasp. I know. I went to college, and may go back some day for my nursing degree. My husband has his Master’s degree and wants to go back for his PhD.
So why would 2 college-educated people be okay if their 18- year olds didn’t automatically enroll in college after high school? Here are a few reasons:
(Please note, we definitely ARE okay if our kids go to college, too! Also, what we are not okay with—> lazy kids! )
1.) Debt.
Enough said. Although Ben and I were very fortunate to exit college with zero debt thanks to parents helping, scholarships, and working through college, the vast majority of graduates ARE strapped down with debt when they graduate. It’s hard enough to pay bills in the “real world” without being strapped to $20,000, $50,000 or more in college debt- especially when a well-paying job isn’t always guaranteed right after graduation day.
2.) It’s not always necessary
My friend Paula is a entrepreneur in her blogging and business and is currently making way more money that many people I know. And? She never stepped foot into a college classroom. She said, “I didn’t go right after high school because of reasons out of my control. Now, I’m choosing not to go because I don’t want to create debt when I’m making a successful career without college.”
There are certainly professions that do require a degree- doctors, anyone? But it seems that college immediately following high school has become one of those “no-brainer” choices like public school or vaccines can become- we sometimes just do it because everyone else does, not because it’s necessarily the best choice for our own families. (I am certainly not saying that everyone that chooses public school or vaccinations (we vaccinate!) don’t actively think about those choices- because I know so many who do, but they can become decisions that we make by default.)
3.) They will probably change their minds, and then change them again
How many of you who went to college actually graduated with the major which you first chose? I know I went from English, to sociology, to psychology, finally settling on Christian counseling. If I could do it all over again, I would have chosen nursing from the beginning. A little time out of high school and exposure to other experiences can be a great way to choose one’s career path.
It’s easy to say that you want to do one thing, then end up in school and totally hate it. I mean, you’re asking an 18-year-old to decide what he/she wants to do for the next 50+ years! It seems it would save tons of time and money to go to school when and only when a person has a better handle on what he or she wants to do.
4.) Sometimes, very bad decisions are made in college
And I’m not talking about majors any more. College for me was so much fun and I made lasting friendships, especially at my first college where I spent my first 2 years. But so many teens end up making very bad choices, many of them with very bad consequences, in their college years. I don’t want my kids unable to make their own decisions, but I certainly want to make sure they are equipped to make these decisions before they’re on their own. And if that requires delaying college a few years, then that’s what we’ll do.
5.) Other opportunities may be better for a child
The summer after my freshman year in college, I spent almost a month in Chicago on a mission trip. I even considered sitting out of college for a year to do a year-long missions training course. Although there are certain reasons I’m glad I didn’t go with that exact training course, I do sometimes wish I had taken the risk and done something different for a year or so. College would have still been there waiting for me.
I know that letting a child make a choice that is out of the ordinary will be scary. Spending a year in Africa (or something to that degree) could make spending a few years in college look like child’s play, but I want to be attentive to each child’s giftings and desires before automatically choosing the path for them.
Although I’ll 100% support them if they decide to, I really think I’ll be okay if my kids don’t go to college, at least right out of high school.
How about you? What would you think if your child decides not to attend college?
About Kelli Hays
I agree. Also, as non-fem as this may sound, many girls (5 of my 6 are female) don’t take into account that even though they SWEAR they will be working-gals, once they have that first baby in their arms, they may want to stay home. If you are loaded down with debt from college you might not have that option. I have a number of female friends that have this exact problem. They love to work outside the home, but if they didn’t have the debt, they would choose to stay at home.